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  • Writer's pictureStand-Up Comedy Historian

Fourteen Years (a 14-year anniversary parody song of "Five Years")

Updated: Dec 4, 2022


Today is my wedding anniversary, and my husband and I have been married since the summer of 2008 (right before the recession hit...yay?).


In those 14 years, we've done a LOT: moving multiple times, adopting cats, raising our two wonderful children, both of us being in the hospital (I broke my leg in 2015 and Ian had cancer twice), starting and leaving jobs, etc.


And we've always been together, working as a team to get through it all.


So when I first heard Bo's new song in the Inside Outtakes, I knew that I wanted to create a parody version to capture the exact dynamics of an even longer relationship. haha


I hope you all enjoy it, and I love you, Ian! Here's to 14 more (at least)!



Fourteen Years:


You're my best friend, I love you

You know me and I know you

You've had cancer that you've been through

We've got bills that we'll get through


Uh


You think I'm rude to you

You think I am the worst

Because I ask when you watch the kids

to unload the full dishwasher first


C'mon


CHORUS: One-Four, One-Four

Still you, still me, still more

One-Four, One-Four, baby,

One-Four, One-Four


We order Thai food, I'm eating my corn cakes

You reach over and you take my corn cake

You don't even say "do you mind," for God's sake

Why would you assume that you're entitled to a corn cake?



So I look at you

You look back at me like "what the hell did I do?"

"If you really wanted some appies then,

you really shoulda snapped up some when we put in the order."

You say, "You're a nutjob.

And I- I need you to please stop

Let's just drop this, it's not a big deal."

"Okay, but for the record:

You owe me a corn cake, I mean it, I won't forget.

You owe me a corn cake or an appy equivalent."

CHORUS


We found a spider in the room

I screamed and I told you to get a broom

Since you were near the closet

You grabbed a paper towel, and I lost it


I say, "You should kill that."

You say, "Um, no, screw that."

I say, "Come on, be a man!"


WHAT?!


"You're an environmentalist, an animal rights fighter.

But your hold whirl view collapses the moment there's a spider.

Cool, I get it. THIS is the real you.

It's a pleasure. Nice to meet you.

Stuff like this brings the movement down.

Everyone loves animals until there is a spider around."


CHORUS


How come every time I bring up I need to use the headphones

You out of the blue need to use the headphones

Just use the Bluetooth headphones

That's why we got two headphones

Just use the Bluetooth headphones

That's why we got two headphones


And you know


HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!







2 Comments


Kim Scott Leinad
Kim Scott Leinad
Aug 31, 2022

I love this ❤ Happy Anniversary to my Anniversary date twin who's 4 years ahead of me😄

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Stand-Up Comedy Historian
Stand-Up Comedy Historian
Feb 08, 2023
Replying to

Thanks so much, Kim! 💗

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